Monday, October 09, 2006

Pregnant Pants

I'm at mom's house, relating to mom, my sister and Auntie B the woe of my Monday. "I'm sitting in our staff meeting, when all of a sudden my underpants roll down my stomach. I'm trying to appear nonchalant and yank my underwear back up to my waist without my boss noticing what I'm doing. There is no way to pull your underpants up while you're sitting down. All I could think was how bunchy I was going to look when I stood up to leave the meeting." My family thinks this is hilarious. It is hilarious. And also horribly uncomfortable. Like having a giant Olivia Newton-John sweatband around your belly.

"I have that problem all the time and I'm not even pregnant. I'm thinking of getting some maternity underwear," my aunt tells me.

I sigh. "Maternity underwear are so expensive, but I'm going to have to bite the bullet soon. It just seems ridiculous to pay so much for something I'll only wear for a few months." I say all this knowing I'll be buying some soon, like tomorrow.

"So just go get some bigger underwear," mom says to me.

"I already did that. These are the bigger ones. They don't come up high enough on my stomach." I yank on the waistband for emphasis.

"I know. You could sew two pairs together!" She lays on the sofa offering useless advice.

"Or," my aunt quips, "I could give you a pair of mine and you could just wear them backwards."

My aunt took mercy on me and got me some maternity underwear. Blessings upon Aunties!

| Mrs. Botton was at it again @ 10:05 PM

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